It's days like this that make me realize how much I take out my emotions on my body. It's a constant battle. I'm bracing myself for detox week. I just went a little bat sh** this weekend with eating and not exercising. I haven't missed a work out for like 2+ months, and this weekend I missed every workout, completely intentionally. The good news is, I've decided that I'll be a most-of-the-time vegan, but I won't freak out if/when I eat meat/animal products. That's what this weekend taught me: I can eat meat and still sleep at night. It also reminded me of how awful I feel, physically, mentally, and emotionally when I'm careless. And, it reminded me of the long journey that my path to health is going to be: I've been battling massive guilt for the decisions I made over the past few days and as I've been doing this I've been wishing for freedom from this guilt - it's like a sickness that I will never be cured of. Oy. It's been a long two years and I still have so. far. to. go.
"If only Mrs Seton and her mother and her mother before her had learnt the great art of making money... we might have dined very tolerably up here alone off a bird and a bottle of wine; we might have looked forward without undue confidence to a pleasant and honourable lifetime spent in the shelter of one of the liberally endowed professions. We might have been exploring or writing; mooning about the venerable places of the earth; sitting contemplative on the steps of the Parthenon, or. going at ten to an office and coming home comfortably at half–past four to write a little poetry...All I can do is to offer you an opinion upon one minor point—a woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write..."